நட்பு (பூ)

என் தோட்டத்தில் வளர்த்த பூக்களெல்லாம்

ஒரு நாள் வாடி போக கூடும்

உனக்காக

என் இதயத்தில் வளர்த்த நட்பு(பூ) மட்டும்

என்றுமே வாடாது

ஏனெனில்

நட்பு(பூ) வளர்க்கப்பட்டது

தண்ணீர் ஊற்றி அல்ல

என் குருதி கலந்த கண்ணீரால் !!!!!!

என்றும் உன் அன்புக்காக ஏங்கும்
சுகந்த்.ச

Note : I hope Still somemore fine tuning is required in this ....

இதோ முதல் அரங்கேற்றம் ......

எனக்கு தோன்றும் சிறு சிறு ஹைகுகளையும் , கவிதைகளையும் இணையபக்கத்தில் அரங்கேற்றப் போகிறேன் .இதோ முதல் அரங்கேற்றம் ......

தோழியே !

தோழியே !

கரை காண முடியாது
உன்மேல் நான் வைத்திருக்கும் அன்பை

அதை தக்க வைப்பதும் தவற விடுவதும்
உன் தனிப்பொறுப்பு ........

அதை விட்டு விடுகிறேன் உன்னிடம்
என் உயிர் தோழியே !!!!!!



என்றும் அன்புடன் ,
ச.சுகந்த்

Back to Office

BusyBee is back to office after a long Gap.......Busybee is going to make himself busy rightnow onwards......

Busybee towards Native ...

I am leaving to my native for some Personal work.Intha vyasula enna periya personal workunnu silaarukku mooku verkkum, athunala avungala ellam kasta paduthama straighta visayatha solren.enakku Ponnu parkure velaiyathan poren.Unga ellaroda aasirvathala ponnu kidaikumra nambikaila poren..thanks for your wishes to all prayed for me and pray for me..

Naan oorukku poyittu june 14 return delhikku vanthiduven.......

Flight kanama poganumnu vendi irukura aasamikalukku oru vendukol. please antha saabatha vaapus vaangikonga..

anaivarukkum yen vanakangal!!!!!

Endrum Anbudan ,,

ungal
Sugandh.S

Today someone told that i was lying about something !!

it just blew me away because I didn’t lie…
but I realize too, I have no obligation to prove
anything to anyone.

I hope someday this person knows the truth~
until that time,
I remain grateful.

:)

I am begining to understand who I am and what I want to be. I want to live with integrity. Other don’t know what wall I’m standing on, so some will never understand. I’m on that wall of making people better. Some of the actions will upset you because of many things. Some are as follows: you’re not ready for change, you don’t want to be better, you stuck in your interest of race/gender, you love being who you are and many more.

Getting over with people who had Fooled me ?

They’ve broken their word. They ignored my kind reminders of what they owe me. I lost money.

They don’t care about what would our peers think of them. They’ve gained from my loss. Not fair, isn’t it?

I’ve tried to be more patient but this time they’re outrightly avoiding me.

I am not afraid because I knew that one day they are going to need my help and I won’t lift a finger for them. Tables turn.

Regards,

Sugandh.S

Thinking about what to do Next ?????

I must keep busy…Even if people don’t believe I feel lonely..They say, “You? Lonely? I don’t believe it! You’re to good looking to pretty to be lonely…to much going for you…” blah blah blah. I just have overwhelming feelings at times, I would say alot. Sometimes it’s hard to look people in the eye. I really don’t feel depressed, just lonely, I can be happy by myself if I am busy…I feel the root of it all is my relationship . I just totally feel comfortable when everything is fine, then I feel like she doesn’t feel the same for me when she doesn’t call or email me anymore. Well I guess I am not little “stubborn” and dont call her either…”butting heads” I dunno. Maybe? Well I started to give myself away more, writing him calling leaving little messages, I mean it takes two in a relationship… Is it good to give myself away and not expect anything in return? Or treat people the way you want them to treat you? Or a little of both? I don’t know I am confused… There is more to this alot more…Too much to write here…Thanks for reading out there whoever you are!

If anybody can help me out to come out of my confusion please do it immediately..........

Regards,

Sugandh.S

How to Cope With Losing a Friend

Friends are one of the most important parts of our lives. During your lifetime, friends come and go. Losing a friend is emotionally draining and very frustrating, however there are ways you can cope.

1. Step 1

   Stay calm. In the early stages after losing a friend, it's tempting to act out against your former friend. You might be tempted to talk bad about him behind his back, or even do something worse like vandalism. However, this is not the way to go. Avoid acting out and remain calm. The tension and the anger you feel will decrease as the days and months pass.

2. Step 2

   Talk to someone. Sometimes talking about your feelings helps you really understand how you feel. Let your confidante know how hurt you are over losing your friend. Depend on her support.

3. Step 3

   Look for a new friend. There are a lot of people in this world and sooner or later you will find a new friend. Tell them how you feel. You could even try role playing or acting out your feelings.

4. Step 4

   Do something nice for yourself. Take a walk in the park. Stop and talk with people along the walking path. Treat yourself to some ice cream. Go to the mall. Find something you enjoy that will lift your spirits.

5. Step 5

   Remain cordial with your former friend. Even if your relationship ended on a sour note, bitter feelings tend to subside with time. If you see your former friend out in public, there's no need to run away. Politely say hello, but keep the conversation short. It's possible you'll need your former friend in the future, and it's best to stay polite.

6. Step 6

   Join an exercise club. You can meet people at the club, while having fun and exercising at the same time. Try some deep breathing exercises or meditation to help you relax and focus on thinking positive and eliminating some of the hurt and stress.

Courtesy : eHow Relationships & Family Editor

pain of losing a friend....

Dealing with the pain of losing a friend

When you lose a friend, the end of the friendship can feel as devastating as a bereavement. But it's difficult to grieve, exactly, because your friend is not dead. Just no longer your friend. So there's no funeral rites to help you, and no condolences from other people. The foundations of your life have been shaken - but everybody expects you to go on as normal.

Losing a friend can cause deep grief

You may know what it was that brought your friendship to an end. If it was by mutual agreement, you may have expected that you would be able to handle the loss of your friend with equanimity. You may be puzzled to find yourself going through the stages of grief. You may feel inexplicably weepy. Or angry. Or depressed. Because, even if you ended the friendship by agreement, you really have lost something important.

The pain of not knowing why the friendship ended

And it can be even trickier if you are not sure why the friendship has ended. Because then you may be questioning and blaming yourself - was it something I said? Something I did? And there is no answer to these painful questions. Although we like to think that 'there must be a reason', people's motives are not necessarily rationally explicable. Yet somehow you have to find a way to go on with your life without this friend.

Regards,

Sugandh.S

My sweet friend

I never saw you, didn't know you were there.And for most of my life, didn't think, didn't care.Through all of my sad times and happy times too.You were there with me, but I never knew.You never showed yourself, never let me see.Just who it was who was caring for me.As I lived my life all those lessons you taughtAnd never once, recognition you soughtYou've seen me through everything I have done.You've been my waxing Moon, my shining Sun.And now I know you are there, even though you still hide.I will say this with love, Thank You my Wonderful Sweet friend!!!!!

Stopped Chatting in Gmail Chat

Dear Friends ,
I am pleased to inform you that i Stopped chatting in gmail ,Facebook,Yahoo Messenger etc., for sometime.This decision is taken as my Special friend informed me not to chat in gmail and yahoo for sometime.I will be offline in future for somedays. I feel sorry for that.
please send mails in case of anything required or please do call friends......I will respond ur mails instantly..

Please kindly bare the inconvenience ........

With regards,

Sugandh.S
email: sugandhsathiamoorthi@gmail.com (or )
suga@aol.in
Mobile : 9899150607 / 98656 50607

Stress: A Health and Relationship Killer

What is Stress ?

There are many different definitions of stress. Some define stress to be a disturbance of a person’s normal psychological or physiological state. Others consider stress to be a situational factor or distressing circumstance external to the person. Some use the word "stress" as a term equivalent to "arousal" and "activation"; it is also used as a term for "bad effects". The many different definitions of stress have caused a great deal of ambiguity and confusion about the subject. When reading an article, listening to a lecture or participating in a discussion about stress, be sure the definition being used is clear.
One of the most useful definitions of stress is as follows: Stress is an internal process that occurs when a person is faced with a demand that is perceived to exceed the resources available to effectively respond to it, and where failure to effectively deal with the demand has important undesirable consequences. In other words, stress is experienced when there is an awareness of a substantial imbalance between demand and capability, under conditions where failure to meet the demand is perceived to have unwanted consequences.
Related Concepts
Perception and awareness of the imbalance between demand and capability and the negative consequences of not meeting the demand is needed in order for the person to experience stress. The perception does not have to be accurate, however. A false belief can cause significant stress.
Stressors are the events and thoughts that lead the person to perceive that a threatening demand is being made. Strain is the negative effects of stress. Strain may appear as fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, medical and physical problems, insomnia, depression, anxiety, over eating, drug and alcohol abuse, risk taking, or diminished functioning, to name a few of the possibilities.
Stress can be positive and negative. On the positive side it alerts us to a threat and increases our level of arousal and activation which can help us be more effective in coping with the threat. It is mismanaged stress or an over-abundance of stress which causes strain and can be devastating for the person or the system.
The Process of Stress
When a potential stressor is perceived as threatening, the person’s level of arousal is increased and stress is experienced.
The person selects from the available resources a coping response that is expected to be effective in reducing or eliminating the stressor.
If stress is successfully reduced the person experiences a relaxation of arousal and increased confidence in being able to handle future stressors.
If the coping response is not successful stress and increased arousal continue. If new strategies are not tried or are unsuccessful the prolonged stress and increased arousal results in strain.
Stress Management
There is no absolute right way to manage stress. The best approach is to assess the specific situation, tailor the method to the particulars of the situation, and then monitor its effectiveness. Stress management is directed at one or more of the five interacting components involved in the stress process: 1) demand, 2) awareness, 3) arousal, 4) capability, and 5) the negative consequences. Here are some examples:
Identify and lessen the demands or increase capability by setting limits, i.e. saying "no", and by not taking on additional responsibilities before the existing ones are met or under control. Get more time or get extra help, or increase your effectiveness by utilizing better tools or by acquiring additional training.
Awareness, perception or the cognitive component, is likely the most important aspect. We need to be aware of all of the relevant issues concerning the demands, our capabilities, resources, and the potential consequences. We need to see these things accurately and clearly and plan accordingly. Our beliefs will determine how we handle the issues and how we feel. We could cause ourselves unnecessary stress by having false beliefs, or by being catastrophic in our thinking and believing something is awful or terrible when it is only difficult or unpleasant. We could also put ourselves in danger by having false beliefs, by using denial and avoidance and by not being aware of or perceiving a real threat.
Do something to reduce the arousal and tension and lower the level of activation. Take a break and stop thinking about the demands and consequences, relax and refocus on pleasant events. Work off the extra tension by exercising or participating in recreation and play. Get a massage, or take a vacation. The use of drugs or medication should be avoided or used only as a temporary last resort, because something needs to be changed not just tolerated.
Eliminate or lessen the effect of the negative consequences by preparing for them, changing the circumstances, or changing your thinking. Examples include putting money in an emergency savings account, buying insurance, changing jobs, crime prevention, earthquake preparedness, accepting what can’t be changed and refocusing your thinking and energy into the what can be done to overcome the negative and make things better. Professional treatment can help minimize or eliminate any physical or psychological problems that have developed because of the stress.
Everyone experiences stress and is vulnerable to it. We do not, however, have to be helpless victims to it. We can manage it, reduce and control it, and can minimize or prevent the negative consequences.
Stress: Push the Limits and Risk Death
There are some similarities between mechanical systems and human systems that are useful in appreciating the powerful effects of stress. Every system, human or mechanical, has limits and requirements for effective functioning. Each system operates within the limits of tolerance for demands, pressures and tensions placed upon it. The electrical circuits in your house are capable of handling a limited amount of power. When more energy is demanded than is safe to handle, the circuit is broken or a fuse is blown. If the water pressure in your plumbing is higher than it is designed to handle, a fitting will eventually leak or burst. If you run your new automobile hard all the time and neglect the proper maintenance, it will start giving you trouble and will deteriorate more quickly. Keep neglecting it and it will breakdown and force you to attend to it. Pushing a system beyond its limits and neglecting proper maintenance invites deterioration and breakdown.
Just like machines, human systems have limits and breaking points and require maintenance. If you are under increased pressure, push yourself hard and neglect the proper maintenance on yourself, you will also deteriorate and eventually have a breakdown. Your body will force you to stop and attend to it. If you neglect the maintenance in your marital relationship, your spouse will start giving you trouble, there will be a deterioration of the relationship and a breakdown in communication and goodwill. Don’t push yourself so hard that you use up all your best and have nothing left for your spouse and family but fatigue, intolerance and irritability. Don’t risk the loss of your personal relationships or the loss of your health. Save some of your best for your loved ones and yourself.
Stress can be Harmful to Your Health
Inappropriately handled stress can be devastating. It lowers our resistance and makes us more vulnerable to illness and disease. The increased inner pressure can cause our health to deteriorate resulting in a variety of serious physical problems. Stress victims can become emotional cripples and physiologically old and run down long before their time. Stress can cause a loss of not only health, but also loss of jobs, loss of families, even loss of life.
Stress can be Harmful to Others
People under stress also make more mistakes, and these mistakes can cause others to be secondary victims to someone else’s stress. I would not want to have surgery by a stressed surgeon or be cared for by a stressed nursing staff. Nor would I want to be a passenger on a plane maintained by a stressed maintenance crew or flown by a stressed pilot.
Common Symptoms of Stress

Physiological &Behavioral
Increased heart rateRise in blood pressureDryness of mouth & throatSweating Tightness of chestHeadacheNausea, vomitingIndigestionDiarrheaTrembling, twitchingGrinding of teethInsomniaAnorexiaFatigueSlumped posturePain, tightness in neck and back musclesUrinary frequencyMissed menstrual cycleReduced interest in sexHyperventilationAccidents and accident pronenessAltered food intakePoor concentrationDisinterest in activitiesDecreased involvement with othersBickeringSmokingUse of alcohol and drugsIncreased use of sarcasmTendency to cry easilyNightmaresComplaining, criticizing
Affective
IrritabilityDepressionAngry outburstsEmotional instabilityWithdrawalRestlessnessAnxietySuspiciousnessJealousyIncreased startle reactionDecreased frustration tolerance
Cognitive
ForgetfulnessPoor judgmentPoor concentrationReduced creativityLess fantasizingErrors in math and grammarPreoccupationInattention to detailsBlockingReduced productivityDiminished problem solving
Spiritual
Expressed concerns about belief system.Expressed concerns about relationshipwith a clergy.Separation from cultural and religiousrelationships.


Courtesy : Larry Alan...