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Regards,
Sugandh.S


Courtesy : Prathap.D

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner. QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing. QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry. QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacherof mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to begood and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle. QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well. QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework. Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind towarning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS: 1. TRUST 2. COMMUNICATION 3. INTIMACY 4. A SENSE OF HUMOR 5. SHARING TASKS 6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN 7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.) 8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS 9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE 10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

Regards,

Sugandh.S

Courtesy : Sudha

6th sense technology- invention by an Indian- awesome

http://www.ted.com/talks/pattie_maes_demos_the_sixth_sense.html


Courtesy - www.ted.com

Regards

Sugandh.S

Losses and Achievements in Life

Regards
Sugandh.S

Express your love b4 its too late

THIS IS A 'MUST READ' MAIL - Truth of Life

It’s another morning.….. Again I have to go to office.Ohh, this is me… I shouted having a glance on my snap in today’s news paper.But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??Strange…One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severepain in my chest, but I don’t remember anything after that, I think I had asound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh….. It’s already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.Where is everyone…??? I screamed.“I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check.” I said tomyself.So many people….. Not all of them crying…But why some of them crying…WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor…“I AM HERE” … I shouted!!! No one listen.“LOOK I AM NOT DEAD” …

I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.They all were looking me on the bed.I went back to my bed room.“Am I dead??” I asked myself.Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?I found them in the next room, all of them were crying… still trying to console each other.My wife was crying… she was really looking sad.

My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful andmost caring wife in this world..??How can I go without saying my parents that I m … just because of u ??

How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life… thanks for being there always when I need them… and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears…Ohh… he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.I went there.. And offered him my hand, “Dear friend… I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me.”No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry… even then!!!

I really don’t care for such people.But one sec…. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.My goodness… AM I REALLY DEAD???I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying…“OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS…” I just want to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.“YOU R BEAUTIFUL” I shouted.She didn’t hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.“GOD!!!!”

I screamed… a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..I cried…One more chance please… to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in mylife….Then I looked up and cried!!!!I shouted….“GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!”"

You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"I was sleeping….Ohh that was just a dream….My wife was there… she can hear me…This is the happiest moment of my life…I hugged her and whispered…. “U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE INTHIS UNIVERSE…. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR”I can’t understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy…. J“THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE.”

So, Now it’s not late.. Forget your egos, past……….., and express your love to others………. Be friendly…………… keep smiling and be happy for ever…who knows that loved one may not be there with u tmrw or u may not be there....

India Trashed KIWIS @ 10 Wickets win

This is India's first Test win in New Zealand since the Auckland Test of 1976. They take a 1-0 lead in the series and have lived up to their billing at least in this game. The match headed in their direction at lunch on the opening day with NZ at 61 for 6. New Zealand mounted a fightback but their bowlers failed to back the efforts of Vettori and Ryder. India piled on the half-centuries, Tendulkar scored an exquisite 160 and there was no looking back. The adjudicators for the Man of the Match will have a tough choice between Tendulkar and Harbhajan, whose 6 for 63 happens to be his best Test figures away from home.

	Bowling	O	M	R	W	Econ
	Z Khan	28	7	79	1	2.82
	I Sharma	22	7	62	0	2.81
	MM Patel	17	2	60	2	3.52
	Harbhajan Singh	28	2	63	6	2.25
	Yuvraj Singh	7.3	2	11	1	1.46

	India 2nd innings (target: 39 runs)			R	B	4s	6s	SR
		G Gambhir	not out	30	18	6	0	166.66
		R Dravid	not out	8	14	2	0	57.14
		Extras	(b 1)	1
		Total	(0 wickets; 5.2 overs)	39	(7.31 runs per over)

Missing you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From march 1 2009 i had been posted in New Delhi.I feel little bit difficulty here in climate.Feeling more difficulties in food and Language.Busybee romaed freely in chennai and now blocked into a big ocean .It seems left alone closed my eyes.I had given new assignment here.Culture in my office is good.I feel great to work in this culture.
My only consolation here is being with my Childhood friend.No matter if he is not here Busybee willnot be here(will be in Chennai).Life is good here.Nothing to worry till now..16 Days went rapidly.New friends here seems to be cool.Missing all my family members and friends in chennai.Especially friends working in Nungambakkam,Staying in Velachery,Guindy,Vadapalani and so etc......
Missing you all guys...............
Will update soon about the rest.
Busybee shining off.Till then bye from
urs ,
Sugandh.S